Are You Cursed With the Habit of Over Apologizing? Monitor it to Mend it.

This habit taught me why I needed to change

Justine McGrath
3 min readApr 22, 2022


Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

It stopped me in my tracks. I had just apologized to someone for something that was not remotely my fault. Not even in the ballpark.

Why on earth was I taking the blame for something that wasn’t anything to do with me?

I had no idea, but bringing it into my awareness was the first step to change. When I began to look at it in more detail, I realized I do it all the time. I say sorry when I don’t need to.

When I looked more closely at why I do this, I came up with a few possible reasons. I was brought up to be polite and I have always valued manners, maybe I am just a bit overzealous?

Or maybe I don’t want people to think badly of me so I apologize — just in case.

Or maybe it’s just easier to take the blame.

The problem with this is it isn’t great for your self-esteem. Constantly being sorry affects your psyche after a while. It erodes self-belief and makes you feel worse about yourself.

What’s even worse is that it can lead to resentment. You find yourself angrily thinking ‘what the hell am I apologizing for?’



Justine McGrath

ICF certified Executive Coach. Specialist in EI. Author ‘Conversations with my Father — Jack Kyle,’ and ‘The Elephant Crossing.’